She was waiting for surgery in pre-op and as per usual I went to introduce myself. I always say the same standard lines, "Hi my name is Meagan, I'm the medical student. You probably won't remember me, but I wanted to come say hi as I'll be another face in the OR today." She, like many patients, laughed and lamented that there were many faces and she's already forgotten many of them. I'm used to remaining nameless with patients. I'm not the surgeon, I'm not their nurse attending to their every need. It's so easy to slip into the feeling you're unimportant.
She was wheeled into the OR where the staff descends and the well choreographed dance of readying the patient starts. If you've never seen this it's like a NASCAR pit crew doing 8 things to the patients body simultaneously. Many monitors are applied while the patient lies there completely helpless. This particular patient who was hard of hearing had taken out her hearing aids and I could see her eyes as they roamed the room from person to person not hearing a word that was said. They held the unmistakable look of fear. As the anesthesia staff began the process of putting her off to sleep I took her hand and held it in mine. She squeezed back. We locked eyes, I saw her smile, and despite that she couldn't see it for my mask I was returned the gesture. The next day I pre-rounded on the patient and she looked at me and said, "You said I wouldn't remember you, but I do. You were the one that held my hand in the OR. Thank you." No matter how small the gesture, as a medical student there is still room to make a difference.
Meagan Ladell, M4
