September 23, 2015

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She closes the door behind her and says,
"It's the 5 year anniversary."
Huh? How can that explain/or excuse anything?
A belly so large and full of life,
yet already so dependent.
Suboxone needed like a gasp of air.
And it hits me,
and I try to walk a mile in her shoes,
but i can't even imagine a first step.

- Gabby, M2

Medicaid

15 pounds she carries.
15 extra pounds of fluid
she brings with her in her right arm.

No care covered.

A disfigured sack that grows larger each week,
and each month,
stealing health, job, home, and dignity.

No care covered.

Breast cancer stole a year of her life,
but without treatment she'll carry this baggage for a lifetime.

No care covered.

- Gina Phillips

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Educated, informed, and eloquent, 
but frozen by her fear.
She wants to change, knows how, can't.
Help me help myself, she says.
I'm stuck. I just want to do the things I used to.
She knows what's wrong,
but knowing still holds her back.
We begin together.

- Erin, M2

The Cost of Diagnosis

She lie in agony on the gurney, her cause of pain uncertain.
Beside her worried lover, 
her battered abdomen
concealing her broken heart.
Oh good doctor, 
would you risk irradiation of an unborn babe
to test your hypothesis?
Have you no other way
to mend her mind and body?
Alas, be not the crushing stallion?

- Orlin Serger, M1 

Affliction

Elderly, proper, so put together.
She awaits us with her daughter,
Holding the thumb that is bent and bruised.
We ask all the questions we were taught. 


I don't know,
 I don't know, 
I don't know.

She starts to cry.
The pain in her thumb a mere morsel
to the pain of losing her mind. 


- Caitlin Regner, M4

Time

She's been feeling ill for quite some time.
Bloody emesis
leads to a hospitalization, IVs, fluids, meds.
Next a scope and biopsy.
Doctor says it might be cancer.

Waiting,
waiting,
hours,
days...

Family gathers,
still no results.
Family can't breathe.
Results are back, rush them over.
No malignancy.
Her words, "You are my Angel."

- Anonymous, M4

Innocence Lost

"I'm scared to lose it"
On her own
So much fear, so many doubts
Worried for the growing life inside her
But what of her future?
Her growth will now be physical
I see her wonder at the miracle
"What is a uterus?"
I'm struck speechless by her innocence
Heartbroken by this last glimpse

- Anonymous

Family Doc

How does it look, Doc?
Hand hold,
Heads fold.
Cradle to Rock.

She is perfect, Doc.
Toddler gleams,
Mother beams.
Cradle to Rock.

It hurts badly, Doc.
Shoulder tweaks,
Syringe squeaks.
Cradle to Rock.

Is it time, Doc?
Crying baby,
Cooing lady.
Cradle to Rock.

There’s a spot on my back, Doc.
Biopsy punch,
Late for lunch.
Cradle to Rock.

What did you want to tell Doc?
Pregnant mother,
New big brother.
Cradle to Rock.

I’m feeling good today, Doc.
Breath sounds,
Heart pounds.
Cradle to Rock.

Is this goodbye, Doc?
Quiet room,
Glowing moon.
Cradle to Rock.

I am going to miss you, Doc.
Hang up stethoscope,
Put away white coat.
Cradle to Rock.

- Sarah Mortimer, M2

Labor, the Fountain of Youth

Born in 1913.
A farmer's daughter.
I married a farmer.
With whom I raised four children.
Hard-work was my mode of operation.
And still is.
With a failing heart,
and an aching body,
I continue to exercise, play, and laugh.
Join hospice? Okay, I suppose.
One hundred and two is a good time to go. 

- Anonymous